Spellings.net to launch Activlan UK division

I’m please to announce that I have been appointed director of Activlan UK Ltd.

Activlan is one of the largest virtualisation specialists in France, headquartered in Paris and run by my good friend Stephane Thirion.

Activlan UK Ltd will bring the infamous French style to the UK virtualisation market. The new UK division will extend the reach and expertise of Activlan “across the pond” into the lucrative financial services centre of London and the southeast of England.

Whilst the new division will be run as a separate legal entity, the company ethos will be very much based on the French mothership with some strong company values and mission:

• Employee tatoos will be encouraged. Annual bonuses will be based on your “coverage of ink”
• Only heavy thrash metal allowed on company PCs and employee iPods. Any Justin Bieber will result in instant dismissal.
• Employees will be encouraged to grow goatee beards to make them appear more intelligent
• A company uniform of black rock t-shirts with slogans such as “Death”, “I killed your cat” and “You’re gonna die, mother *%$£$£$” will be compulsory

Commenting on the new venture, from the dungeon of his Dominatrix, Activlan CEO Stephane Thirion said “This day is more significant than the Entente Cordial. We’ve watched the UK virtualisation industry from our tower for many years and it’s about time we sorted them out. Our company ethos of high quality technical consultancy combined with ear-piercing heavy thrash metal will revolutionise the way those rosbif do business. This is bigger than 1789. Rock on.”

Neil Spellings, CEO of Spellings.net and new director of Activlan UK added “I think it’s great that we’ll finally get to demonstrate to some of the largest financial institutions in the world that headquarter in London the French way of doing business. I’m fully behind the company ethos, and even have my wig-fitting appointment arranged for Monday. I’m very much looking forward to spending more time with my family during all those strikes .